Turning Pain into Purpose: Thoughts from a High-Functioning Hot Mess /Dark Romance Author

A misty road stretches endlessly through a dense forest, flanked by towering trees on each side.

Lifelong Journey

I have been on a journey to wholeness for so long that I’ve forgotten what the destination even looks like. That’s what trauma does—it reshapes you into a lifelong survivor. Survival becomes second nature, almost as if you were being trained for a post‑apocalyptic world. But when peace arrives, when the chaos quiets, survivors often don’t know what to do with themselves.

Living With the Weight of Survival

For a while, I didn’t know what to say to prospective dark romance readers.

A woman is lying in bed, her head covered, as if seeking refuge from the world outside. She is trying to survive the weight of her thoughts and emotions, cocooned in her own space.

I’m introverted, and my daily reality is layered with challenges. Lupus, an autoimmune disease, leaves me drained on days when I most want to thrive. This past Thanksgiving weekend was a perfect example—I had high hopes of productivity, but instead spent an entire day in bed.

Alongside lupus, I’ve wrestled with anxiety, depression, and what I suspect is undiagnosed OCD. I’m a perfectionist with an urge to succeed so powerful it can feel soul‑crushing. That drive, I’ve learned, is often found in survivors of PTSD.

The Chaos and the Notebook of a Dark Romance Author

A journal featuring heartfelt reflections and aspirations for gratitude, illustrated with hand-drawn hearts. A fountain pen and ink bottle accompany the introspective notes.

Then it hit me. As I lay in bed, scribbling in my notebook to make sense of the chaos in my mind, I realized: this is what I should write about. The raw truth of how impossibly hard it is to move forward when everything inside and outside of you seems determined to hold you back.

I live with an inner critic who despises me. I hear echoes of voices from my past, hurling insults, convincing me at times that I’m fractured beyond repair. And yet, like a warrior—my middle name, Louise, literally means “battle maiden”—I keep going.

Finding Meaning in the Struggle

I have to believe there are others who suffer like this and still persevere. History is full of them—people who carried their pain and left indelible marks on the world. I don’t know if I’ll ever reach my own destination, or if my dreams will fully materialize. But I do know this: as a dark romance author, my stories are about turning pain into purpose.

I’ve taken my memories and crafted them into fiction. I’ve forged characters from the fractured parts of myself. And in doing so, I’ve discovered that you can’t tell a survivor’s story without getting raw and gritty.

Fiction as Healing

I won’t share every secret, but I will share enough. My stories explore people healing in the aftermath of trauma, finding salvation in the arms of another, or discovering strength within themselves. I believe fiction has the power to heal us—and that is what I hope my writing will do for you.

A tender moment shared, hands gently clasped—one adorned with a sparkling engagement ring, symbolizing love and commitment.

Why Depth Matters

We need more authors willing to go there. Too much fiction today feels flat, like it was inspired by a TV show rather than real life. That may work for some readers, but not for me—and not for those who crave depth, authenticity, and originality.

A Call to Readers

I hope I can find you, readers who want more than surface‑level stories. I hope I can bring something meaningful into this world, something that makes all the tears and all the tragedy count for something.

Help me do this. Join me on this journey. Let’s prove that pain can be transformed into purpose—and that stories born from survival can heal.